“Christian” False Teachers That Just Need To Shut The Frak Up And Go Away

As long as there has been a Christian faith there have been false teachers. The New Testament is filled with examples. We hear of the legalists, the Antinomians, the gnostics, and the Nicolaitians among others.

The First Council of Nicaea in 325 AD dealt with the heresy of Arianism. It’s major proponent Arius  whom the heresy is named after asserts that Christ did not always exist but was crested by God. That heresy persists even today in the form of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The Council of Carthage in 418 condemned the heresy of Pelagianism, a belief that man is not tainted by original sin but has the capacity to choose between good or evil without divine assistance. Today Pelagianism is alive and well in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

The First Council of Ephesus in 431 AD dealt with the heresy of Nestorianism, a false doctrine that asserts that the human and divine natures of Christ are separate. It was later condemned again at the Council of Chalcedon in 451 AD.

Since those times there have been no end to false teachers that either deliberately or through ignorance spread heresy. Many of them just repackage old heresies and make them glitzy and glamorous. Here are a couple of false teachers that particularly get under my skin.

Joel Osteen

This guy is like a wreck that you pass by on the side of the road. Even though you know you shouldn’t look you find yourself secretly hoping to see some gore. When I flip through the channels and see Joel on, I can’t help but stop and watch a few minutes of it. Looking like a metro sexual with an almost perfectly coiffed mullet, Joel delivers one feel goodism after another without once mentioning sin. Now I’m no scholar, but I do know enough to know that without sin there is no need for a savior. The Bible says ALL have sinned (Romans 3:23). Because of our sin we are separated from God and unable to save ourselves. Because of the atoning work of Jesus we can have forgiveness and have the righteousness of Christ counted as our own. Joel never mentions this.

He refuses to say that Christ is the only way for a man to stand justified in the eyes of God. He doesn’t want to offend. I’m sorry Joel, but that is a different gospel. That makes you stand accursed. Jesus tells us that he alone is the way the truth of the life. No one comes to the Father but through Him. That’s John 14:6 if you are keeping score.

Joel has written a huge best seller “Your Best Life Now”. In it he tells that God has promised the believer health and wealth. I just don’t see that in the scriptures. Instead I see the assurance that we will suffer if we are in the faith. As John MacArthur said “if you are having your best life now, your eternal destiny is Hell.”

Fred Phelps

I wish this idiot would drop off the face of the planet. He is the so-called brains behind the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka Kansas that pickets the funerals of fallen US servicemen and anyone else they feel like picketing. Phelps and his family have adopted a hyper-calvinist theology. They certainly don’t evangelize. They only condemn. God Hates Fags is their rallying cry. Yes we can be assured that the sin of homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of the LORD. But let the LORD mete out His vengeance. He doesn’t need your help Fred.

I was actually disappointed in the US Supreme Court for affirming the right to picket at a funeral as being protected free speech. I know many will disagree with me, and that’s fine, but I draw the line at the exercise of free speech that is intentionally hurtful and meant with malice. Actually I don’t believe in the Constitution. I want it dissolved immediately with myself becoming the King. Fred wouldn’t like it if I were king. I’d have him thrown into a dungeon somewhere and silenced for the rest of his days.

Peter Ruckman

This is another hate-filled idiot cretin who is the poster boy for King James Onlyism, another dangerous heresy. Ruckman is never kind in his dialogues with those who disagree with him and frequently resorts to name-calling and caustic sarcasm. He once began a letter with the salutation, “Dear Scumbag.”

My issue with King James Onlyism is not the KJV. I grew up hearing it read in church and I have a deep love for it and a respect for the majesty of the language. But to go so far as to say that God ordained that it was the only English language Bible and that it can even be used to correct the Greek is foolish. He is on record as saying any translation error from the Textus Receptus to the 1611 KJV is advanced revelation. He and his supporters love to sling mud at “Westcott and Hort” but lacking any real cogent arguments they basically resort to character assassination. Interestingly enough I have never found this sort of “information” anywhere but KJV only advocates.

This clown even teaches that abortion is not murder. As a Christian I have a big problem with this. When the secular culture defends abortion, though they are wrong and misguided, they are only acting as unbelievers are expected to act. Christians on the other hand should have deep convictions from the scriptures that all life is created by God and that it is He who should decide when to end it.

And to top it off these are his own words:

If we are truly sincere, can we choose any Bible that we like and have the same results at the judgment? The importance of this question is immeasurable, for throughout eternity we will be affected by the answer!

If you believe I made this up go here. This is legalism plain and simple and a vicious heresy.

Benny Hinn

Benny is living proof that P.T. Barnum was right. The fact that he continues to thrive is ample evidence that there are indeed suckers born every minute. While many evangelical Christians can see right through Benny and immediately understand that he is a charlatan, the charismatic wing of Christianity is especially gullible to this man and his snake oil. I believe that there are many fine genuinely saved men and women who are charismatics, but the emphasis placed on experience and emotion allows them to be misled by Benny and other false teachers.

Benny claims to receive an “anointing” which allows him to heal the sick. He claims to have healed people from AIDS, blindness, deafness, and cancer, yet several prominent press investigations find no credible evidence that these healings actually occurred.

Benny once made the news in 1999 when he appeared on the Trinity Broadcasting Network. (I call it The Blasphemy Network. Paul and Jan Crouch could easily be a part of this blog post but I’ll dog them out later.) Benny claimed that God would resurrect the dead if their loved ones would put the hands of the deceased on the TV while it was tuned to TBN. Guess what. It didn’t happen.

As with all televangelist Benny sucks his followers dry while living an incredibly lavish lifestyle. He was once the target of a Senate investigation.

My list could go on and on. I could include the aforementioned Paul and Jan Crouch, TD Jakes, Joyce Meyer, Rob Bell, Kenneth Copeland, and sadly enough Billy Graham, a man I once had tremendous respect for. He denies the exclusivity of Christ and I can no longer say he is orthodox in his teachings.

The best way to avoid false teachings however is not by studying them, although an informed knowledge is always beneficial. By studying what the scriptures say and by having a deep knowledge of God’s revealed plan, it becomes easy to spot a heretic. Make sure you are drinking deeply from the Word!!

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One Response to ““Christian” False Teachers That Just Need To Shut The Frak Up And Go Away”

  1. Frank Sketl Says:

    Very much an enjoyable read.

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